WAITING? NOT ANYMORE

You just packed your bags and left
There was really no explanation to why you actually did it.
I laid awake every night longing for your voice
Waiting for you to just say that it was all a nightmare
and it never happened
See my days are cold without you

"Please do not fall in love with someone new
I promise I will come back for you"
I was waiting for you to say these words
But to no avail
So there I was with a wet pillow every night
At some point i knew that you were not coming back
But
My hopes for your return were much higher
See my nights are cold without you

I kept looking at that door you were
So kind to close with the hope that it
Would open one day
I am here because I was intoxicated with what
I thought was
The best part of my so called "mortal" life
How did i lie to myself for so long?

I hid behind this huge wall for such a long time
Fear of what happened kept on haunting me
When walking the streets at nights it was
Nothing but a shadow of my past
It took a residence inside me

"I wanted to move on"
For so long that was my mantra
but I could not
It was a lie
I have been living this lie for so long
There was no separation between us

Who am I?
This question had no answer
And I was not willing to let it go
I needed to know why
For me to close this chapter completely
Every question
Has to be answered
Honestly

Four years later you come back
Say the same things I had waited for you to say
But you are too late
I just moved on with my life
I learned to live without you
And trust me it is not bad

So i kindly ask you
Not to come back and hurt me
Do not say you love me
You know what it will do to me
I stopped waiting when that door
Was not opening
Let me live





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