WAITING? NOT ANYMORE

You just packed your bags and left
There was really no explanation to why you actually did it.
I laid awake every night longing for your voice
Waiting for you to just say that it was all a nightmare
and it never happened
See my days are cold without you

"Please do not fall in love with someone new
I promise I will come back for you"
I was waiting for you to say these words
But to no avail
So there I was with a wet pillow every night
At some point i knew that you were not coming back
But
My hopes for your return were much higher
See my nights are cold without you

I kept looking at that door you were
So kind to close with the hope that it
Would open one day
I am here because I was intoxicated with what
I thought was
The best part of my so called "mortal" life
How did i lie to myself for so long?

I hid behind this huge wall for such a long time
Fear of what happened kept on haunting me
When walking the streets at nights it was
Nothing but a shadow of my past
It took a residence inside me

"I wanted to move on"
For so long that was my mantra
but I could not
It was a lie
I have been living this lie for so long
There was no separation between us

Who am I?
This question had no answer
And I was not willing to let it go
I needed to know why
For me to close this chapter completely
Every question
Has to be answered
Honestly

Four years later you come back
Say the same things I had waited for you to say
But you are too late
I just moved on with my life
I learned to live without you
And trust me it is not bad

So i kindly ask you
Not to come back and hurt me
Do not say you love me
You know what it will do to me
I stopped waiting when that door
Was not opening
Let me live





Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

LOVE VS THE 21st CENTURY

I am going to touch a very sensitive issue today and yes i know you don't want to hear it. You have probably heard it so much that you blocked it out of your tiny brain but hey here it comes SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE IS IT OR IS IT NOT A SIN? I have been researching this topic for four years now and nothing has changed in fact it gets worse every year. I have been asking people young and old about this specific topic and most of the young ones had this to say "A relationship would never work without sex" "I love sex so much that as much as I love you i will need permission to get it outside" "Why would God create something then not let us perform it" "There is no scripture that says sex before marriage is a sin" "I have to taste before i marry,what if the person is bad in bed?" The last one really killed me because what does one know about someone being bad in bed,unless you actually have something to compare it to.The reason w...
Read more

SWITCHED ROLES

Image
The past week I finally managed to log on to facebook and to my surprise there was this picture that was making the rounds. I believe out of the first 10 posts it appeared 3 times and I was disturbed as the caption was the same. You see to me this picture is an insult because, most men would never make the same sacrifices that they expect from women. Why is it that women are the ones who have to bend over backwards and yet men just want a finished product. men want to be waited for and a patient counterpart but yet they are unable to do the same thing for us women. This might be just an opinion but truth is the world an even society rates us differently and I know most of you think I am being old here but if you actually paid more attention to your mentality which shaped by mostly culture because its what we are fed everyday. You will actually realize that what you think is your idea really isn't.  This is not feminism do not misunderstand me, this is just something that...
Read more

REFLECTIONS OF A QUEEN

It has been weeks now and a part of me has been going through trying times and I cannot believe that I put myself through that again, I mean have You seen yourself. I was listening to sad songs for what I do not even remember why for days I felt sorry for myself and I shouldn't have done that. You see I did the one thing I promised never to do again. I think you forgot one thing when you met me, I have been broken before and the truth is nothing can ever tear me to shreds again. You see this is Me and this right here is REAL. It may be that you count yourself lucky enough to have seen me vulnerable and count yourself unlucky that you ever set foot at the door. In the past months this I have come to realize that I am one amazing human being and I tend to whisper it in the dark instead of shouting it out at the highest of rooftops. I woke up one day and I came across a beautiful soul, we started talking about random things in life and how they have had a totally different first i...
Read more